He turned to Trish, she had her bikini top on, and was tying the strings on her bikini bottom, having not thought to retie them the night before. In just 12 hrs or so, she had accepted the fact that he, a complete stranger, could come into her bedroom and see her naked.Jacques threw his hands in the air, “magnificent, beautiful, what a sight for a randy man's eyes in the morning eh!” He stepped up to her and ran his hands over her hips, then helped her knot the cover-all on her left hip. But then undid the clasp on her bikini top and lifted it over her head, “we are not wearing this, this morning. “Today’s lesson is to teach you to be like a French woman, and to savior the looks of desire that this will engender in the men around the pool. Also the envious looks of their wives.”Trish gave him a very determined look, “I am not walking out that door topless. You have to be dreaming!”“Ah Patricia! Have you not learned yet, that you do not have a choice in the matter. You will do. After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig a grave with the shovel.Astonished, I got back into bed.My wife said "Darling, you're shaking,.
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